Need ideas = help?? 8 year old(s) needing to stop worrying about what others think!?

I am reminded that my five year old is a great kid, but that he and I will never be the closest of people compared to my other kids. He and I just clash. That doesn't mean I don't constantly work on changing that, but hopefully you have a spouse that can take over in that situation. They say that both parents should parent equally, however, I have discovered that there are times when it is best that one parent 'parent' a little more with one child, releasing the other parent from the conflict. My wife and our five year old are far closer than he and I are, and our 3.5 is very close to me for almost the same reasons. You have a great understanding of your issues, and the first person gave you some wonderful advice. I would strongly suggest that your spouse jump in to this fray and help out with his expertise as well as your own.