Depressed after making a mistake :(?

So about six months ago I decided to make a horrible decision and have at 14 years old . My boyfriend and I later broke up becuase He was rude and didn't care about my feelings . After the breakup I started spiraling down . The next bad mistake I made was binging and purging I did that for about 5 months until I realized it didn't make me feel any better .I still purge sometimes when life gets really Difficult . I also self harm - I cut myself in the area . I use a razor and cut usually until I feel better. That hasnt stopped it's only getting worse . Sometimes when I am alone I dream about the day I will die and be with God that thought brings pleasure or happiness to me . I want to die and no one cares - I mean they do care but they don't try to help me no one can help me . I just want some useful advice ! Please